what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
