Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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