Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
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