So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
