is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had me at cake vodka
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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