Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize