just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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