oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
