My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
