I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
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