so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
