I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
