lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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