I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
