Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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