She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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