I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
