i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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