Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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