And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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