Someone shit on the floor
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm determined to sit on that face.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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