I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
