K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
