i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
