haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
