Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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