I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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