Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
