oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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