last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
