i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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