Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my sisters under your porch take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize