zippers are such a cool invention
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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