I'm going to jail i love you
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
