a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize