You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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