Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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