Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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