please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
