You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
