how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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