I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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