2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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