Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He passed out mid-signature
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
