People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
