Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
