guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
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