If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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