He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
