I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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