i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
