Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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