There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
