I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
