he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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