So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
