How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize