i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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