That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
