chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
