I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
