3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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