I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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