You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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